OUT AND ABOUT TO GET UGLY

How many closet cases does it take to reelect a president?

By Michelangelo Signorile

IF YOU DRIVE a Volvo and you do yoga, you are pretty much a Democrat," the Bush-Cheney campaign manager Ken Mehlman—soon to be the head of the Republican National Committee—reportedly told a meeting of Republican governors last week. "If you drive a Lincoln or a BMW and you own a gun, you're voting for George W. Bush."

Since he's so confident labeling people based on outward characteristics, Mehlman must understand why his being a 37-year-old "bachelor" who refuses to answer questions about his sexual orientation is a tip-off to many that he's a pathetic closet case, and a pretty vile one at that, having used antigay hatred (aka "moral values") to help elect Bush. Mehlman was actually boasting to the governors about his slick new strategies, telling them that the Bush-Cheney campaign studied voters' consumer habits—basically snooping into voters' personal lives—in targeting them.

Studies have shown that the most virulent homophobes are those who are the most insecure about their own sexuality or are deeply closeted homosexuals themselves. It will be interesting to watch as many stauch supporters of the "moral majority" are outed, and to see the hypocrisy of their movement revealed. Even more interesting is seeing who will be dragged kicking and screaming from their closets.